Coming Out Stories
In honor of the Pride Month we asked people to anonymously submit their coming out stories.Here are the responses. We want to showcase your experience coming out and being a part of the LGBTQ+ community and we recognize and empathize with the struggles that you have faced and applaud you for your courage to share your coming out experience
I study in a very strict religious school my whole life so any form of questioning one's sexuality is highly frowned upon. And being a model student of said school, it's an abomination to even think about it. During my high school years, I've been a part of a solid group of three all-female friends. It is worth noting that one of us is openly a lesbian (this is pretty common in religious schools). And we love and accept her for who she is. Said friend, however, grew a crush on me and well we kinda sorta hung out even more but this is more on because of things we have no control over (i.e, we became groupmates for a project, my mom had asked her to come over, things like that). One fateful afternoon, we were at their living room doing a project. We ended up kissing. And kissing. And kissing again. (Yes, I initiated the kiss. Yes, I liked it). What we didn't know, however, is that our other friend is already knocking through the door (which we didn't hear because we were obviously preoccupied) so said friend proceeded to peep through the glass window to see if anyone's home and saw us kissing. My kissing partner locked eyes with her and eventually pushed me away. Leaving me mortified while she proceeds to unlock the door. Our other friend was staring back and forth at us accusingly then said, "Care to explain?" which scared the bajeezus out of me. I looked her in the eyes with an apologetic smile and said, verbatim, "well I kind of might've sort of am bi..." Mind you, it's the first time I've ever said this out loud. But it felt so right and I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder lifted upon saying it. After a month of not talking to each other, and two years after that incident, we are still a solid group of three, one's an open lesbian, one's a bisexual who came out only to her best friends, and one's a queer (yes, third friend came out to us too).
I think the person I most remember coming out to is myself. I woke up one moment after playing a queer artist's song on repeat and realized I was queer too. It was like a moment in a movie and I wouldn't believe it had I not been there. I just felt a huge sense of peace like I was finally getting back home to myself after years of feeling ashamed and stuffing down my queerness because I am Muslim.
I do not know you would want my story because I live in the States and I am white, but I will put it here in case you do. Just for context, I am a cis lesbian, I am white, and my family is Roman Catholic. I started question I guess around 11 or 12, but I didn’t think of it that way then. I was just worried and wondering why I hadn’t had a crush on a boy yet. I didn’t know anything about the LGBTQ+ community or that people could even be gay. When I was around 13 I realized people could be gay, but I still didn’t think that was me at all. Then, when I was 14 over quarantine I really started questioning and learning more. That’s around when I realized I was in fact gay, but I didn’t really accept it for around six months. It was rather odd. One day I was just sitting thinking, and in my head I thought, “Well damm. I am actually gay”. Once I realized that it turns out looking back I had a lot of crushes on girls I thought were just admiration and friendship. It took me another six months to come out for the first time, to one of my closest friends. I was so terrified. But I decided that I wanted someone to know. Like, if I die tomorrow in a car crash or something, I don’t want to die without anyone ever knowing (macabre right? It was just what helped me build up the courage to actually say it). I also, for some unknown reason, decided to come out with a pun. I said, “you know something good? We'll never fight over a boy like our two other friends did! Cause I am gay”. It was very cringe, I know. She took the news really well and has been so supportive though. Eventually I came out to some of my other friends too. They have all been really supportive and nice to me, and they are awesome. I have not come out to my parents yet, and I am not going to until I am 18 at least (only 2.5 more years!). They seem supportive, but I just don’t want to risk it, especially since I won’t be able to afford college on my own, and we are Catholic (super homophobic religion right there) and although we are rather liberal Catholics I just don’t want to take the risk. Anyway, I hope my story can help someone!
I would be lying if I said I always knew what my sexuality was, heteronormativity is so ingrained into our society that I didn’t know I was allowed to like girls until 8th grade or that my attraction to them didn’t have to be sexual! For a long time I thought I was “straight” because I didn’t want to have sex with girls— conveniently forgetting that in 6th grade when I once went on a 20 minute semi-screaming rant because my classmate implied I had a crush on him. I wouldn’t come out until 10th grade of course. It was a highly religious and conservative school and to be frank, there was a time when I regretted it. Every time I entered the shower rooms after PE, my “best friend” never hung out with me unless there was a third party, teachers finding any excuse to give me detention, I was reminded that I was less than human to them. The worst part is, I have known some of these people since kindergarten! Eventually I left and thankfully have found some real friends. Coming out is a difficult subject. Sometimes you cannot come out because of discrimination but if you don’t come out, you often feel as if you are living a lie. I know it’s easier said than done but remember, you can always find support. I remember having a small group of queer friends on discord during high school and it really helped me through it. All I can say is stay strong. If people don’t accept you, screw them.